New Unquiet Life

by Kate Renegade

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1.
Untitled 03:13
I studied all my second thoughts I studied hard, then I threw it away Now I’m left here asking how we manage anything at all With fists all tied, with fists all tied So feel this question forced upon us So feel The line is drawn and will you step across it Unreal A million fears to stumble on A million doubts to swallow whole If you are asking, I am ready for the new unquiet life So give me what I want, give me what I want So feel this question forced upon us So feel The line is drawn and will you step across it Unreal Will you lull me off to sleep? Will you strike the long abandoned set of who I used to be? Or will you raise my tired hand? Believe that I can be both then and now, complex, and still in reach And so we feel this question forced upon us So feel The line is drawn, please help me step across it So real
2.
Lullaby 04:30
I was ripe before I met you I was peeled and bleary-eyed You were right to walk away but so quick to say goodnight If you have to If you have to leave, If you have to sleep give me a kiss as a lullaby as a lullaby I am cold before I let you I hold an arm out on all sides But I had a song to sing you before I could even tell you why, so If you have to If you have to leave, If you have to sleep give me a kiss as a lullaby as a lullaby You and I in the crosshairs of the night destined for pain and longing, pain Pain and opened eyes You and I on the knife-edge of the sky searching for pain and longing, pain Pain and opened eyes, oh You and I on the knife-edge of the sky searching for pain and longing, pain Pain and opened eyes
3.
What was I then, what did I know? I was far away and yet a stone’s throw Falling fast Falling slow What was I then, who was he to me? The dull and painful grinding of a memory Tongue on wound Afraid to let go He stole my youth Between the fear and denial of truth He stole my youth But not the fight or the claws that scratch out a better life I know her name, what did she see? The woman she’d grow into didn’t look like me Let her down, let her down slowly In your arms now Why dream up a version of distant me? If we’re tired and we’re never who we thought we’d be Enough now, enough now baby Enough right now He stole my youth Between the fear and denial of truth He stole my youth But not the fight or the claws that scratch out a better life The daughter of the mother doesn’t see the sin The maid that draws the curtains lets the shadows in And I was never one to watch silently The Queen can see the future as a memory The Queen can see the future as a memory All the time he stole coming back to me All the time he stole coming back to me All the time he stole coming back to me
4.
Friends 03:43
Friends no more, a confidence told, a closed door So friends, friends no more You leaned in too close, You saw what wasn’t worth fighting for Gold, ground small, a worthless glitter, nothing more Now you’re dirt and shame Regret and blame And wasp and sting And circle and ring And child and dream And youth and gleam And faith and faith and nothing at all Time folds in and I want to be a friend returning home Time tears away and I want to be your friend returning home Time tears away and I want to be your friend returning, returning, returning
5.
Bow & Arrow 03:35
Be simple girl, just let it go And set your mind to work like a bow and arrow Quiet without, quiet within Tune your ears to the silent voices closing in Who do you love? Who do you hate? Put it down on paper in a gentle way The lonely stare, the sole embrace coming on as you slip, slip away You can’t explain, You can’t explain It’s another girl’s loss It’s another girl’s brain You can’t explain, You can’t explain It’s another girl’s heart It’s another girl’s shame ‘cause I am hard and I am tired of changing anymore Oh burn out once to burn out twice Close your eyes and dispose of their sound advice The vagabond, the jilted soul Let her roll, let her breathe, let her start to grow Oh burn out once, to burn out twice Close your eyes, close your eyes and you come alive Close your eyes, close your eyes and she comes alive Close your eyes, close your eyes, close your eyes You can’t explain, You can’t explain It’s another girl’s loss It’s another girl’s brain You can’t explain, You can’t explain It’s another girl’s heart It’s another girl’s shame ‘cause I am hard and I am tired of changing anymore Feel, and break, and fall, this wall inside of me It can’t, afford, to wait, this knot inside of me Knead, the night, into a space where I can hide away If i’m, the last, to know I’m fine if i’m, the last, to know… You can’t explain, You can’t explain It’s another girl’s loss It’s another girl’s brain You can’t explain, You can’t explain It’s another girl’s heart It’s another girl’s shame ‘cause I am hard and I am tired of changing anymore
6.
Me to You 04:42
Many sweet songs have been written about the universal one Something prettier and simpler than our flawed and complex love I could tell you that I loved you and it would only be part true The other piece is you helped save me and I’m indebted to you So listen when you lay down And you feel that hint of anxiety, ambiguity Rest easy This song’s from only me To only you This song’s from only me To no one else but you Many sad songs have been written I could write another just the same And you could sit and wonder if you’re the one to blame Fear no more, I’ve got you in my sights and you can Know for sure, there’s only good here So listen when you lay down And you feel that hint of anxiety Rest easy This song’s from only me To only you This song’s from only me To no one else but you Your body laughing in the snow The Pistols on your radio Your body laughing in the snow Thin Lizzy on the radio You and me on the radio You and me on the radio You and me on the radio You and me on the radio You and me on the radio You and me on the radio You and me on the radio
7.
Gymnast 03:40
I was a gymnast in my youth I could bend with the world and a changing truth But a life lived leaves the muscles tight I’m not weary but I’m losing light Fall Hear the question no one asked but now you’re wanting to know Fall How you thought that you were real but they saw nothing at all I was a poet when I was young Words felt like an armor against the sun But the skin burns and the moon don’t rise Full but once in awhile on a cold dark night, so Fall Hear the question no one asked but now you’re wanting to know Fall How you thought that you were real but they saw nothing at all Try and listen, try and listen to me now Try and listen, try and listen to me now Try and listen, try and listen to me now, now, now, now, now
8.
Two Shadows 05:30
How could I begin to even ask her How could I forget to rise & fall If I let him take the light, how could I cast a shadow? So how could she begin to try and stay? I held off that side of you I crashed straight through your wall You’ve got a nerve to be asking for anything at all She & I begin to come through In the blink of an eye we realize his fall And I’m running in the wind to the sight of that light on Where she, and I begin to find a way, find a way We held off that side of you We crashed straight through your wall You’ve got some nerve to be asking for anything from us at all Be good to her, gentle and kind Be good to her, gentle and kind Listen love You don’t have to come when I call Listen love You don’t have to come at all at all at all Listen love, you don’t have to come at all
9.
Stir Crazy 03:28
I turned in, Pulled back my hair, held up my chin Now we wait, You say too soon, I say it’s late There was a time, You had my back, kept me on track Now things are fine, But one minute more and I might crack I’ve been tapping on this pane While you seem happy locked inside away from cold and rain, well I just wasn’t made that way Oh the restless heart abides but does not stay Something is going on, Just out of sight, just out of reach Don’t try and pretend, I’ve read enough books to know how this ends Sink or swim, I’ve laid in on the line for you, honey They’re closing in, The walls, the years, the mess we’re in I’ve got both hands on the glass So get behind me already there’s no way this can last I’ve been looking out since birth For a stirring in the heart, the blood, the earth So come away with me We’ll swim until we can’t turn back If I was a betting girl I’d say we’re right on track, right on track, right on We’ll swim until we can’t turn back If I was a betting girl I’d say we’re right on track, right on track, right on

about

This record was written and performed with love and care by Steph, Noah, Eric, & Bix. Four friends from Chicago keeping guitar-driven indie rock moving forward.

credits

released June 8, 2018

Engineered by Steve Albini at Electrical Audio
Mastered by Matthew Barnhart at Chicago Mastering Service
Album design by Dan MacDonald Studios

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about

Kate Renegade Chicago, Illinois

Kate Renegade is Steph, Noah, Eric, and Bix. Heavy Pop / Rock & Roll out of Chicago.

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