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Mother's Knife

by Kate Renegade

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1.
Lunar 03:09
LUNAR I’m gonna feel a little bit of this woman’s scorn You’re gonna wake up in the morning to a world that’s a little bit lonelier When the light pulls back off a sunlit face I’m gonna close my eyes into a world that’s a little bit lonelier that’s a little bit lonelier Come back to the States, Come back to where your heart sings Come back to the lake that you never visit anyway Come find me tonight I’m seeking a friend to watch the skies Oh come find me tonight I could already see myself singing Come back Come back Come back
2.
Animus 04:50
ANIMUS She turns back in a straight line She turns back in a straight line - to bind herself to you She has your voice, you have hers You have weakness, she has nerve - bind yourself to her They say be a good loser but I don’t know how I’ll be alone in the end, I need a lover right now Try my hand I’m lost and reaching for you Somehow………..unlikely as it seems Something’s hidden in the blind You are restless, you must find - a woman hanging on a limb You nearly kissed me in my dream Your face held close, I could see - you were him They say be a good loser but I don’t know how I’ll be alone in the end, I need a lover right now Try my hand I’m lost and reaching for you Somehow………..unlikely as it seems You have reason, you have a hard drive, you have an emptiness I have plenty, I have the part of you that you have missed I have secrets, I have a pinpoint, and I have a mother’s knife For cutting away what you have loved and what sucks you dry What leaves you dry and in the nervous silence I have found anima, animus - staring each other down staring each other down anima, animus - staring each other down staring each other down They say be a good loser but I don’t know how I’ll be alone in the end, I need a lover right now try my hand I’m lost and reaching for you try my hand I’m lost and reaching for you try my hand I’m lost and reaching for you somehow………..unlikely as it seems anima, animus you & me
3.
Preserved 03:16
PRESERVED Driving in a dayless dawn the mind collapses in song there’s a lifting in my heart, a turning toward the start of a long road and view there’s a figuring it out, a smile and a pout, a leaning into you and I were made as lovers a wind, a sail you and I were made as lovers you look me in the eyes Standing on a storied shore There is nothing I would have liked to tell you more there was something in your eyes, something in your smile, something that I came to define as a longing to be near, a longing yet a fear of the other and divine you and I were made as lovers a wind, a sail you and I were made as lovers you look me in the eyes you’re a light along the boundless trail, and now you’re my light along this boundless trail
4.
Make Me 03:17
MAKE ME I don’t think about you all the time Just when I want to smile I don’t think about you day and night Just when I want to feel good inside And like I’m new And oh, you do, you make me you make me, do I make you? I might miss you when you’re not around I prefer it when you’re found so don’t get lost, don’t get lost we’ve got a lot of knowing to do come see this through And oh, you do, you make me you make me, do I make you? Let’s meet at the place Cobblestones on the ground a smile on your face Lets meet at the place somewhere black & white where we can embrace There’s a freckle on your wrist where a kiss should be there’s a heaving in my chest where your hands should be And oh, you do, you make me you make me, do I make you? I can’t help it that you do do I make you?
5.
HERE & REAL He saw it all unfurl in the bath, in the rain, the damp hair of a girl she pulled up flowers from the earth and smiled I remember, they smiled, they smiled That boy is here This girl is real She saw the twilight turn In the snow, in the leaves, the memory of how to burn Hand holds hand through thick and thin a friend will never leave you like a lover I’ll never leave you like a lover, like a lover That boy is here This girl is real Winter light so small Winter light so small What do you think you met me for? You get one more chance but it’s the last chance in a sorry string so buck up now and love me like a blonde boy should
6.
KISS COMPLETE You can’t relax And the feeling lingers You wear your heart on your sleeve and your anxiety on your fingers On your fingers You lay in bed, eating trail mix and chocolate Haven’t finished a book in weeks I’d say You’re in a rut, kid It’s a very old rut, kid You know it’s yours for the taking If you could just stop heartbreaking Baby it’s wrong, it’s wrong, it’s wrong And you know why Oh, you know why I gave it up fast, though I knew I should pace it Now I’m coming on to you but taking Second place to a cigarette I may have a few regrets You know it’s yours for the taking If you could just stop heartbreaking Baby it’s wrong, it’s wrong, it’s wrong And you know why Oh, you know why You’re sweet and kind You’re plaintive, you’re moody, you’re fretful And you’re mine You’re a girl on the edge, lonely for some kind of feeling Trying to run from the fear that what we had We’ll never have again Never have again Why run from that? Who could ever escape it? There’s a living and dying to love And rebirth if you can catch it Baby let’s catch it
7.
Gold 03:58
GOLD I’m being hunted down, hunted down There is no way to stop the bad dreams they are hounding me I’m being pulled and pried, open wide there is no way to stop the bad dreams from pouring out of me And you can watch me see me in my power watch me wilt, watch me sour And you can try me try me on for size watch me wither, watch me rise I’m being hunted down, hunted down There is no way to stop the feelings pouring out of me See me pained and pinned down tied to a woman’s cry I am not the beautiful girl in black and white then you can watch me watch me come alive see me wet, see me untied I’m being pulled and pried, open wide there is no way to stop the bad dreams pouring out of me So come on, come on, come on Give me something gold a song, a shell Give me something, give me something gold a song, a shell to protect me from the coming trouble
8.
Swell 03:45
SWELL Eighteen years on a witchhunt Twelve years down in a grave When the light cracks open you’re safe, you’re saved you can’t trust the right hand you can’t hold the left cold, summer heart empties ready for the swell, ready for ready for the swell, ready for Smoke churns into the dark night there’s a whisper hidden in my sigh sing how the smallest of moments can make you sure, can make you breathe, can make you fix your sight I’ve been meaning to tell you over and again, and again send me the smallest of signals I’m ready for the swell, ready for ready for the swell, ready for come close it’s the only way to find me come close it’s the only way to find me the only way to find me
9.
Bright 03:20
BRIGHT I was awake through every night I would bad dream, and he would write I was shamed then held on high I was something, I was a queen all right A queen all right and now I know I know what it’s like to be bright and then disappear to be bright and then disappear, disappear You were near me from that start I couldn’t find you, your soundless heart So much time just pissed away Shucked and burned out day after day after listless day and it seems like you know, it seems like you know you might know what it’s like to be bright and then disappear to be bright and he makes you disappear, disappear You’ll see me coming on like an untold truth You’ll see me coming on, cuz I know what it’s like To disappear To be bright And he makes you disappear Disappear
10.
Pity 03:40
PITY You’re pushing papers, pushing far away You’re crunching numbers on a life with no pay You thought you’d landed, you were sitting pretty but girls lose every time, girls in love, what a pity What a pity, the girl’s in love The truth around here is you’ll never get ahead planning dollars and hours until you’re dead You look around, you’re filled with quiet fury Slack-jawed and wondering where it all went You’ve got your skillset and a winning smile you heard everyone likes you but you’re in denial and you’d be right, it seems there’s no one to play with singing songs with yourself on tape, in your parents’ attic What a pity, the girl’s in love Be calm and be quiet be calm and relax pull out your pen & your book and record the loose facts of your life in a song, in a song or two What a pity, the girl’s in love What a pity the girl’s in love with song What a pity, she’s always in love with a song
11.
Uncovered 02:46
UNCOVERED I had a bad case of hovering under dreaming and longing, a quiet loneliness Oh, brooding never got me anywhere kindness doesn’t help anyone to care Are you waiting to be Are you waiting to be Uncovered? Are you? Are you? I was complicit, controlled by the other I was a cold case, even to myself Timid and lonely-eyed never helped the slightest bit you’re in a man’s world now, try to act like you give a shit Are you waiting to be Are you waiting to be Uncovered? Are you? Are you? it’s the biggest fucking waste of time it’s the biggest fucking waste of time it’s the biggest fucking waste of time Are you waiting to be Are you waiting to be Uncovered? Uncovered Uncovered Uncovered

credits

released November 4, 2016

Recorded and mixed by John Abbey at Kingsize Sound Labs
Mastered by Doug McBride at Gravity Studios
Album art/photo by Eric Unger
Album design by Simone Martin-Newberry

All songs written by Stephanie Maieritsch except
"Preserved" written by Maieritsch and Noah Vandercook
and "Kiss Complete" written by Maieritsch and Tommy Owley

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Kate Renegade Chicago, Illinois

Kate Renegade is Steph, Noah, Eric, and Bix. Heavy Pop / Rock & Roll out of Chicago.

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